Confidence is Not Taught Because Winning is Not Emphasized

Confidence comes from winning. Winning is where it all begins.

“Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

— Vince Lombardi, NFL Head Coach who lead the Green Bay Packers to five NFL championships

One of the major problems with adults today is the lack of confidence. Confidence is a direct result of winning. Yes, that’s right — winning. I’m constantly preaching about the importance of winning in my podcasts, in videos and on social media and why it’s important.

So before you close this article in a huff, let me define winning.

Winning is the feeling of satisfaction or enjoyment you get from whatever activity you decide to engage.

You’re winning at something whether it be constructive or destructive. This is important to understand because winning is essential to your health.

When I worked in the Special Education field, winning was imperative to a student’s success. If they weren’t getting the right satisfaction or enjoyment out of school, they would end up becoming a problem in school. They would find their own ways to win. This often turns up in bad behavior, not caring, depreciating one’s self-worth.

This is serious business. If a kid isn’t winning enough in life then they do the unthinkable and feel the need to take their own life by committing suicide.

This all stems from not winning enough.

The Importance of Winning the Day

When I worked in the Special Education field, I taught CPI (Crisis Prevention Intervention). As a certified instructor, one of the key main points I taught was to help the student win the day. It wasn’t about how we prevent every possible situation, it was more focus on how do we help the student win the day. Compile enough wins and they’ll begin to understand why you want them to do things a certain way.

It’s the same with adults. If someone showed you how you could increase your income by trying a certain technique and it worked to put more money in your account, you’d be more open to newer ideas. Does that make sense?

That’s what I call winning. You got something out of the deal and it was beneficial.

This is what we want with our kids and for teachers this is what you ultimately want for your students. If you don’t teach them the importance of winning, they’re going to think things should just come to them and be easy.

Is that not what’s happening with most kids today? We live in a society where they give trophies to everyone to make them feel like they’re winning but they’re not teaching the proper version of winning.

Allow Your Child to take a Loss

The only way you can learn anything in this life is to fail and fail a lot. I’m a parent. The worst part of watching my kids grow up is seeing them fail at something that I could literally prevent for them.

I’ll give you an example: my mother-in-law was deathly afraid of my kids to walk to school. The school is about ½ mile down the road. Trust me, that’s not far. There are plenty of kids that walk this same ½ mile and further in my neighborhood.

In the beginning of the school year, I walked this same ½ mile with them to their school to get them prepared. It wasn’t until four months later that I was forced to make them walk. Being a stay-at-home dad that works my business from home, this was something that I had to do. Why? I was going insane with loss of sleep (Daisy’s teething period) and having to truck the kids back and forth to and from school. I was getting NOTHING done.

Finally, I told Michelle (my wife) that it was time. My mother-in-law and her mother thought it was a terrible idea to have these kids do such a thing at their age. I didn’t care. It was about them growing and becoming independent. It was about them learning their way in the real world. Of course I want to protect them forever but at some point, they have to figure these things out on their own.

There comes a time where they have to take some Ls. They must figure it out on their own.

Now Michelle’s mom and her grandmother had their own fears but I refused to allow those fears to become ours.

I’m happy to say that they’ve learned to make friends on their trek to and from school and they’ve been more active at school with their friends because of it.

Winning the Day is Essential

Kids don’t understand how things play out when they’re young. They haven’t experienced enough life to predict certain outcomes. As they grow to teenagers, they have a better idea jut their minds are still fragile.

This is why it’s imperative to have your kids create a purpose driven life when they’re young. Allow them to become obsessed with the right things. Yes. Obsessed with the right things. I’ve known some students that were obsessed with the wrong things which ultimately lead to destructive behavior as they got older.

Listen, this stuff doesn’t go away. Everything that you do in your life today has a strong connection back to your childhood. It’s time to help your kids get their lives to a point of living with an abundance with the ability to help as opposed to living for safety and security.

Goals. If your kids have never written down goals, have them start with accomplishing one momentum goal everyday. A momentum goal is an easier goal that they can attain to help them gain traction and get that winning feeling.

Goals need to be in a positive light and they need to be measurable. Momentum goals can be:

  • Meet one new friend today. Know their name.
  • Sit next to someone new at lunch today. Know their name.
  • Find a new study partner in class. Know their name.
  • Make a vision board. Be descriptive.
  • Interact with someone new on your sports team. Know their name.
  • Make a bucket list. Be descriptive.
  • Ask the teacher how you can improve your grade. Know the teacher’s name.

Those are all goals to interact with someone and they’re not about something negative. You can refine them however you want.

Interact With Someone Outside of Social Media

Today we live in an age of social media interaction. A lot of these kids don’t know how to communicate properly. They have a severe deficit when it comes to interacting outside of their phone. It’s just the age we live in.

Make sure that your kids are getting outside to hang with other friends. Get them involved in sports or clubs to get them out of the house and interactive with others.

This is imperative to their growth and will help them get a lot further in society than the kids that are bottle up indeed the social media bubble.

Conclusion

Winning begins at home. It starts at home and is manifested in the real world. If your kids don’t have the right understanding of winning then they will be taught by the world. And there will be someone like me who will redefine it for them so they can understand why it’s imperative to their success.

Make winning a priority in your house. It will clear the confusion for your child as they get older.

#1Mindset

Fred Blumenberg

Fred is currently putting together a program for students of all ages. This revolutionary program helps kids of all ages maximize and focus on their strengths to improve confidence and mindset in areas that need improvement. The philosophy of the #1 Mindset which is that no one’s made with weaknesses and there are no accidents. We’re all made on purpose for a purpose and our purpose lies in our strengths.

Be watchful for two programs that :

#1 MINDSET STUDENT COACHING (for 12–18 year olds)

#1 MINDSET COACHING FOR KIDS (for kids 1–11 years old)

Go to https://www.therealfredlee.com/ for more information on these two programs!

Fred is a proud married father of four beautiful children. He’s worked in the school district for over a decade and has extensive knowledge on student behavior in the regular and special education sectors. Fred Blumenberg is a #1 Entrepreneur Mindset Coach who gets entrepreneurs to hyper-focus on monetizing their strengths to achieve greatness.

All articles on Medium.com will be towards helping parents who adopt the philosophy of the #1 Mindset — which is that no one’s made with weaknesses and there are no accidents.

Contact Fred Blumenberg today by chatting with him via the website: https://www.therealfredlee.com/

“The will to win is within you. The want to win is within your dreams. The idea of winning is in your mind. Winning comes from your actions.”

— Fred Blumenberg

Married 🧔🏽👱🏼‍♀️ 4 kids🧑🏼‍🦱👧🏽👧🏼🧒🏽 Positive 💙 Medium is where I help parents stay positive! 💙 Get into my private FB group 🔐 https://bit.ly/2CavS