The Importance of Being Vulnerable to Your Kids

As parents, we consider ourselves superheroes. You must be the superhero that has flaws and is willing to admit your kryptonite to your kids.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

— Theodor Seuss Geisel was an American children’s author, political cartoonist, poet, animator, screenwriter, filmmaker, and artist, best known for his work writing and illustrating more than 60 books under the pen name Dr. Seuss.

If you don’t know by now, I was recently hospitalized with an infection in my left knee that rendered me unable to walk. This was not how I wanted to begin the fourth quarter of the year.

At the beginning of October, I had a Strep virus that infected my knee. It was so bad that I said that my pain level was ten. I never say I have a pain level of ten but this was that pain.

Ironically my hospitalization wasn’t and still isn’t about me. I have four kids who look up to me as if I’m Superman. Indestructible. Can’t be beat, can’t be phased. So when I got sent to the ER, that’s when things got real — for everyone.

My wife had and still is taking care of me. I’m doing more and more independently but I still need a lot of help.

But back to my kids and how this all ties into them.

Sometimes we forget that we’re constantly setting examples for our kids to learn from. This isn’t about me proving that I could be Superman and defeat everything. No. This is about a few key things that my kids will take away forever as learning experiences:

• I’m calm under intense pressure and pain. My kids have seen me in the utmost pain but they’ve been first hand witnesses to how handle my pain. They’re very keen on my attitude during this whole recovery process and my demeanor when it comes to gutting it out through the pain.
• My mindset during this recovery process. I must note that my mindset has always been that of NOTHING WILL DEFEAT ME. That’s just how I roll. And that’s what my kids pick up on.
• I’m in constant need of help and I don’t mind asking for it. There are many able bodied adults who aren’t asking for help because they’re allowing their ego and pride to get the best of them. My kids are learning that it’s about getting things done, not ego, pride and anything else to slow me down.
• Still the same old dad. I say that in a very loose term. I mean it in terms that I haven’t allowed this situation to drastically change who I am in my core being.

Kids see things and take mental notes to use for later. They need queues that they can rely on whenever they face adversity. One of the things that carried over from my childhood was my mom’s ability to remain super calm under intense pressure. I look back on it and see that my mom’s mindset was incredible to be able to take care of three kids and still maintain with late bills and everything.

It’s something that I hold near to my heart whenever it seems the sky is falling. I revert back to early memories of my mom and her calmness while going through a storm.

Be willing to sit down and discuss your feelings alongside listening to your child’s feelings towards a traumatic situation. Kids just want validation and some answers on a few things. The cool thing about kids is that they don’t beat around the bush when it comes to asking you pointiant questions.

This is extremely helpful because it helps you to enlighten them on your situation along with you sharing your true feelings.

Being vulnerable in front of your child is a good thing.

Yes — kids are deviant and they might use that against you later but ultimately you’re allowing your kids to have better understanding of your pain so that they can process.

Kids need validation and they want answers. When I worked at Farmin Stidwell Elementary School, many of the kids didn’t understand why all of a sudden I wasn’t there to help them learn or to throw the football during free play time, etc.

They needed validation and they wanted more information on my situation. Many of them were concerned with my overall well being. They didn’t know if I was a little hurt or if I was losing my leg and could never walk again. Either way it goes, they had their own selfish agenda because they wanted me back. So much so that they would keep harassing my wife and kids — when is Mr. Fred coming back? Do you know, we miss him?

Literally one day, Michelle came to me in tears over the situation because she knew that I had a big impact on the kids and they were genuinely concerned for my health.

I knew I had to get out in front of things, so I sent a video to all of my kids that I worked with to let them know that I’m doing well but my return to the job won’t be happening.

This helped many kids with resolving their mindset over the whole situation and it also helped that I was able to speak to them via a video that took only a minute to create.

Whenever life happens to you, just remember that there are kids of all ages that are taking notes as to how you respond. I’m not saying that you need to be a robot but I’m also not saying that you need to be an emotional mess.

Be willing to show them that they too can fight through whatever. Show them that life is going to happen and that they have the power to use their mind and remain focused on what they’re trying to accomplish.

My hospital visit wasn’t about me. It was about my babies and how they perceive and respond to everything that’s currently happening.

#1Mindset

Fred Blumenberg

Fred is currently putting together a program for students of all ages. This revolutionary program helps kids of all ages maximize and focus on their strengths to improve confidence and mindset in areas that need improvement. The philosophy of the #1 Mindset which is that no one’s made with weaknesses and there are no accidents. We’re all made on purpose for a purpose and our purpose lies in our strengths.

Be watchful for two programs that :

#1 MINDSET COACHING FOR KIDS (ages 3–10 years old)

#1 MINDSET TEENS COACHING (ages 11–18 year olds)

Go to https://www.therealfredlee.com/ for more information on these two programs!

Fred is a proud married father of four beautiful children. He’s worked in the school district for over a decade and has extensive knowledge on student behavior in the regular and special education sectors. Fred Blumenberg is a #1 Entrepreneur Mindset Coach who gets entrepreneurs to hyper-focus on monetizing their strengths to achieve greatness.

All articles on Medium.com will be towards helping parents who adopt the philosophy of the #1 Mindset — which is that no one’s made with weaknesses and there are no accidents.

Contact Fred Blumenberg today by chatting with him via the website:https://www.therealfredlee.com/